登陆注册
19557000000016

第16章 THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A QUACK(15)

``Gentlemen,'' said the elder person, addressing the patients, ``I called here yesterday, like a fool, to ask who had stolen from me a sum of money which I believed I left in my room on going out in the morning.This doctor here and his spirits contrived to make me suspect my only son.Well, I charged him at once with the crime as soon as I got back home, and what do you think he did? He said, `Father, let us go up-stairs and look for it,' and--''

Here the young man broke in with: ``Come, father; don't worry yourself for nothing'';and then turning, added: ``To cut the thing short, he found the notes under his candle-stick, where he left them on going to bed.

This is all of it.We came here to stop this fellow'' (by which he meant me) ``from carrying a slander further.I advise you, good people, to profit by the matter, and to look up a more honest doctor, if doctoring be what you want.''

As soon as he had ended, I remarked solemnly: ``The words of the spirits are not my words.Who shall hold them accountable?''

``Nonsense,'' said the young man.``Come, father''; and they left the room.

Now was the time to retrieve my character.

``Gentlemen,'' said I, ``you have heard this very singular account.Trusting the spirits utterly and entirely as I do, it occurs to me that there is no reason why they may not, after all, have been right in their suspicions of this young person.Who can say that, overcome by remorse, he may not have seized the time of his father's absence to replace the money?''

To my amazement, up gets a little old man from the corner.``Well, you are a low cuss!''

said he, and taking up a basket beside him, hobbled hastily out of the room.You may be sure I said some pretty sharp things to him, for I was out of humor to begin with, and it is one thing to be insulted by a stout young man, and quite another to be abused by a wretched old cripple.However, he went away, and I supposed, for my part, that I was done with the whole business.

An hour later, however, I heard a rough knock at my door, and opening it hastily, saw my red-headed young man with the cripple.

``Now,'' said the former, taking me by the collar, and pulling me into the room among my patients, ``I want to know, my man, if this doctor said that it was likely I was the thief after all?''

``That's what he said,'' replied the cripple;``just about that, sir.''

I do not desire to dwell on the after conduct of this hot-headed young man.It was the more disgraceful as I offered but little resistance, and endured a beating such as Iwould have hesitated to inflict upon a dog.

Nor was this all.He warned me that if I

dared to remain in the city after a week he would shoot me.In the East I should have thought but little of such a threat, but here it was only too likely to be practically carried out.Accordingly, with my usual decision of character, but with much grief and reluctance, I collected my whole fortune, which now amounted to at least seven thousand dollars, and turned my back upon this ungrateful town.I am sorry to say that I also left behind me the last of my good luck.

I traveled in a leisurely way until I reached Boston.The country anywhere would have been safer, but I do not lean to agricultural pursuits.It seemed an agreeable city, and Idecided to remain.

I took good rooms at Parker's, and concluding to enjoy life, amused myself in the company of certain, I may say uncertain, young women who danced at some of the theaters.

I played billiards, drank rather too much, drove fast horses, and at the end of a delightful year was shocked to find myself in debt, and with only seven dollars and fifty-three cents left--I like to be accurate.I had only one resource: I determined to visit my deaf aunt and Peninnah, and to see what I could do in the role of the prodigal nephew.At all events, I should gain time to think of what new enterprise I could take up; but, above all, I needed a little capital and a house over my head.I had pawned nearly everything of any value which I possessed.

I left my debts to gather interest, and went away to Woodbury.It was the day before Christmas when I reached the little Jersey town, and it was also by good luck Sunday.

I was hungry and quite penniless.I wandered about until church had begun, because I was sure then to find Aunt Rachel and Peninnah out at the service, and I desired to explore a little.The house was closed, and even the one servant absent.I got in with ease at the back through the kitchen, and having at least an hour and a half free from interruption, I made a leisurely search.The role of prodigal was well enough, but here was a better chance and an indulgent opportunity.

In a few moments I found the famous Bible hid away under Aunt Rachel's mattress.The Bible bank was fat with notes, but I intended to be moderate enough to escape suspicion.

Here were quite two thousand dollars.I resolved to take, just now, only one hundred, so as to keep a good balance.Then, alas! Ilit on a long envelop, my aunt's will.Every cent was left to Christ Church; not a dime to poor Pen or to me.I was in a rage.I tore up the will and replaced the envelop.To treat poor Pen that way--Pen of all people!

There was a heap more will than testament, for all it was in the Bible.After that Ithought it was right to punish the old witch, and so I took every note I could find.When I was through with this business, I put back the Bible under the mattress, and observing that I had been quite too long, I went down-stairs with a keen desire to leave the town as early as possible.I was tempted, however, to look further, and was rewarded by finding in an old clock case a small reticule stuffed with bank-notes.This I appropriated, and made haste to go out.I was too late.As Iwent into the little entry to get my hat and coat, Aunt Rachel entered, followed by Peninnah.

At sight of me my aunt cried out that I was a monster and fit for the penitentiary.As she could not hear at all, she had the talk to herself, and went by me and up-stairs, rumbling abuse like distant thunder overhead.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 你是第八个(希区柯克精选集)

    你是第八个(希区柯克精选集)

    《希区柯克精选集》中所选的故事,都深得希区柯克的精髓。书里的每一个小故事,其实都是每时每刻发生在我们身边的事情,但是通过希区柯克的别样演绎,它们又变得意味深长,引人入胜。正是这些东西,让你一口气读到最后,也让你体验到那种守得云开见月明的感觉,仿佛一下从黑暗中跃入到碧海蓝天之中,让你想放声尖叫。
  • 爱在荼蘼

    爱在荼蘼

    人常常会为回忆所困,她也不例外。玉倾颜身份高贵,脸上笑意不断,永远成竹在胸。却一时不慎,被姨娘所害!他,赵臻,一次意外捡到了她,从此两人便开始了新的生活。(本文纯属虚构,请勿模仿。)
  • 20—30岁:职场的那些人和事

    20—30岁:职场的那些人和事

    本书为广大青年朋友勾勒了一幅经典的职场路线图,能让大家少走不少弯路。该书从设计职业目标、做好前期准备、把握求职攻略、初入职场信条、快速融入团队、成为上司心腹、牢记职场禁忌、寻求突破发展等方面为你出谋划策,以助大家在30岁时事业上有所斩获,让人生少奋斗十年便能获得成功。
  • 千歌诀

    千歌诀

    白水,从小被一对乌林村的夫妇收养的孤儿,这时一个叫做牛厉的男人来到了这里,他就像白水的父亲一样对待他,之后我们的故事就开始了……
  • 世界残酷待你,你要温柔待自己

    世界残酷待你,你要温柔待自己

    这是一本写给把最美好的年华献给理想的年轻人的书。以温柔如水的文字陪你走过坎坷,走过逆境,给灵魂安定,给前行者信念。愿所有的负担都变成礼物,所受过的苦都照亮前方的路。勇气和自信,都来源于爱。唯有温柔,能抵御世间所有的坚硬。
  • 大戏剧论坛(第5辑)

    大戏剧论坛(第5辑)

    本书主要内容包括:纪念周贻白先生一百一十周年诞辰专辑、精神之自由与天壤同久——纪念我的父亲、论恩师在中国戏剧史学科上的建树、发凡起例:周贻白戏剧史研究的历史意义、周贻白先生与戏曲文物、简论周贻白先生曲艺、小说、诗词研究学术成就、周贻白先生对中国戏剧史学的贡献、周贻白与中国戏曲学科体系的建构等等。
  • 神魂道

    神魂道

    “无魂而锻体七层,年不过五,是为天才。”天才碑上,记录着他的成就,奈何六岁武魂觉醒,他空白一片,连一个黄级武魂都没有出现在他的头顶,天才到废材的落差,没有打击他的信心。反而让他越来越坚毅。十六年前的约定,让他重拾旧梦,通天神魂,让他再一次强势崛起,株荒魂,灭仙魄,他,屹立于金字塔巅峰,他俯视一切小看他的终生。神魂道,神魂道,神之魂,只不过为道。
  • 末世星火

    末世星火

    星力,末世,一切之间都有着一种特殊的联系。是幸运?还是阴谋?
  • 神棍下山

    神棍下山

    他叫沈棍儿,他的身世是谜,他被世人误解是神棍,他却一笑了之。他叫沈棍儿,他也是神棍,他走下了灵华山,踏入了凡尘俗世。
  • 爱你是我生命最美的姿态

    爱你是我生命最美的姿态

    我一直期待生命最绚烂的绽放。它虽只有一次,却短暂美丽。当它如流星一般划出天际,当它悄无声息划过你,我,曾把最美的姿态留给不属于我们的结局。