登陆注册
19885100000044

第44章 [1728-1731](10)

Though she had seen the court but superficially, that glance was sufficient to give her a competent idea of it; and notwithstanding secret jealousies and the murmurs excited by her conduct and running in debt, she ever preserved friends there, and never lost her pension.

She knew the world, and was possessed of sense and reflection to make her experience useful.This was her favorite theme in our conversations, and was directly opposite to my chimerical ideas, though the kind of instruction I particularly had occasion for.We read Bruyere together; he pleased her more than Rochefoucault, who is a dull, melancholy author, particularly to youth, who are not fond of contemplating man as he really is.In moralizing she sometimes bewildered herself by the length of her discourse; but by kissing her lips or hand from time to time I was easily consoled, and never found them wearisome.

This life was too delightful to be lasting; I felt this, and the uneasiness that thought gave me was the only thing that disturbed my enjoyment.Even in playfulness she studied my disposition, observed and interrogated me, forming projects for my future fortune, which Icould readily have dispensed with.Happily it was not sufficient to know my disposition, inclinations, and talents; it was likewise necessary to find a situation in which they would be useful, and this was not the work of a day.Even the prejudices this good woman had conceived in favor of my merit put off the time of calling it into action, by rendering her more difficult in the choice of means: thus (thanks to the good opinion she entertained of me), everything answered to my wish; but a change soon happened which put a period to my tranquility.

A relation of Madam de Warrens, named M.d'Aubonne, came to see her:

a man of great understanding and intrigue, being, like her, fond of projects, though careful not to ruin himself by them.He had offered Cardinal Fleury a very compact plan for a lottery, which, however, had not been approved of, and he was now going to propose it to the court of Turin, where it was accepted and put into execution.He remained some time at Annecy, where he fell in love with the Intendant's lady, who was very amiable, much to my taste, and the only person I saw with pleasure at the house of Madam de Warrens.M.

d'Aubonne saw me, I was strongly recommended by his relation; he promised, therefore, to question and see what I was fit for, and, if he found me capable to seek me a situation.Madam de Warrens sent me to him two or three mornings, under pretense of messages, without acquainting me with her real intention.He spoke to me gayly, on various subjects, without any appearance of observation; his familiarity presently set me talking, which by his cheerful and jesting manner he encouraged without restraint- I was absolutely charmed with him.The result of his observations was, that withstanding the animation of my countenance, and promising exterior, if not absolutely silly, I was a lad of very little sense, and without ideas of learning; in fine, very ignorant in all respects, and if I could arrive at being curate of some village, it was the utmost honor I ought ever to aspire to.Such was the account he gave of me to Madam de Warrens.This was not the first time such an opinion had been formed of me, neither was it the last; the judgment of M.

Masseron having been repeatedly confirmed.

The cause of these opinions is too much connected with my character not to need a particular explanation; for it will not be supposed that I can in conscience subscribe to them: and with all possible impartiality, whatever M.Masseron, M.d'Aubonne and many others may have said, I cannot help thinking them mistaken.

Two things, very opposite, unite in me, and in a manner which Icannot myself conceive.My disposition is extremely ardent, my passions lively and impetuous, yet my ideas are produced slowly, with great embarrassment and after much afterthought.It might be said my heart and understanding do not belong to the same individual.Asentiment takes possession of my soul with the rapidity of lightning, but instead of illuminating, it dazzles and confounds me; Ifeel all, but see nothing; I am warm, but stupid; to think I must be cool.What is astonishing, my conception is clear and penetrating, if not hurried: I can make excellent impromptus at leisure, but on the instant, could never say or do anything worth notice.I could hold a tolerable conversation by the post, as they say the Spaniards play at chess, and when I read that anecdote of a duke of Savoy, who turned himself round, while on a journey, to cry out a votre gorge, marchand de Paris! I said, "Here is a trait of my character!"This slowness of thought, joined to vivacity of feeling, I am not only sensible of in conversation, but even alone.When I write, my ideas are arranged with the utmost difficulty.They glance on my imagination and ferment till they discompose, heat, and bring on a palpitation; during this state of agitation, I see nothing properly, cannot write a single word, and must wait till it is over.

Insensibly the agitation subsides, the chaos acquires form, and each circumstance takes its proper place.Have you never seen an opera in Italy? where during the change of scene everything is in confusion, the decorations are intermingled, and any one would suppose that all would be overthrown; yet by little and little, everything is arranged, nothing appears wanting, and we feel surprised to see the tumult succeeded by the most delightful spectacle.This is a resemblance of what passes in my brain when I attempt to write; had I always waited till that confusion was past, and then pointed, in their natural beauties, the objects that had presented themselves, few authors would have surpassed me.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 小学生最喜欢读的益智故事

    小学生最喜欢读的益智故事

    小朋友们,你们爱听故事吗?喜欢故事里跌宕起伏的情节吗?喜欢那些出乎意料的故事结局吗?喜欢故事中蕴含的智慧吗?这里有你喜爱的故事,孩子们,还等什么,来吧,来这里寻找快乐和智慧吧!
  • 《容瑾安然》

    《容瑾安然》

    她是天之骄女,他是公子如玉。他们是青梅竹马,她芳心暗许,势要把他牢牢地握在手中。天造地设的一对终是共结连理,受世人羡艳。她问他:你可曾有把我放在心上?
  • 不是天下

    不是天下

    她是21世纪平凡少女;一朝穿越才知原来这才是她的国度;从懵懂无知,到扮猪吃虎;看她在玄气国度如何风生水起。他是传说中最有钱的商人;从未想过会因一人,宁愿散尽所有;只愿换她一笑。他是内个最冷酷的存在;却总是抓不住她的方向;到底是用她换天下;还是只要田夏。人人都怕他;只有她敢直视他的存在;那他可不可以拥有她?
  • 大星际

    大星际

    混沌中有无数的宇宙,地球宇宙只是其中一个,第一代地球宇宙种族的科技达到巅峰之后,他们越过宇宙壁垒,在混沌之中创造了新的宇宙,还创造了强大的附属种族——神族,可惜,神族背叛了他们,双方大战后,地球宇宙的种族全部去了混沌深处,神族也销声匿迹。无数年后,地球宇宙又产生了无数新的智慧种族,这些新的种族,大部分竟然都结合了第一代地球宇宙种族和神族两方的基因,穿越人类青年张成在宇宙中探索发展,懵懵懂懂的他偶然发现了这个古老的秘密……--哈哈,A签啦,大纲设想很完整,绝对新颖,请大家都收藏一下,来点推荐票吧,留点评论支持一下,给点信心和鼓励吧………………
  • 为什么孩子不听话

    为什么孩子不听话

    本书分上、中、下三篇,从孩子的天性、父母的表达方式深入分析孩子“不听话”的真实原因,联系父母的亲身经历体会孩子在成长过程中需经历的挣扎——如同种子破土而出的艰难历程,浇灌作为一个好园丁应有的关爱和智慧雨露,架起亲子之间相互理解的彩虹。书中引用了生活中真实发生的两百多个小例子,细细分析亲子之间交流的障碍和问题,以最直接实用的“计策”为指导,让你在会心一笑间拉近你同孩子的距离,伴随你的孩子健康成长。
  • 萌妖追爱:道长请留步

    萌妖追爱:道长请留步

    (已完结,放心追!)再丑也要谈恋爱!谈到世界充满爱!带着这个美好的目标,鼠妖墨白开始自己的逗比求爱之旅。“美人儿,我看你骨骼清奇,耳垂圆润,定是福泽深厚之人。但是福气太多也是一种累赘,不如嫁我,我帮你分担一些?”“帅男,别被我霸气炫酷的外表震慑住,其实,我内里是很温柔娴静的。不信?不信你娶我回家试试!”“道长,前面那位清秀的道长,请留步,小生有话要说,说……”尼玛,故事都是骗人的。墨白含泪痛哭,“道长,我再也不敢调戏你了!”
  • 沈少的甜妻好迷人

    沈少的甜妻好迷人

    这一夜,她被人下药。自知清白不保。在理智尚在时,抓住了眼前的男人。从此开启了另一种生活方式。程阅问:“你爱我吗?”沈作棠说:“为你的美神魂颠倒。”程阅问:“为什么?”沈作棠说:“为了跟你鬼混。”他害她羞于见人。她以为自己遇到了真爱。有一天却发现,扼杀自己孩子的是他……当头顶的光环不在,当他的宠爱变成阴谋……
  • 宗族变公司

    宗族变公司

    本书通过大量采用口述与档案资料,探讨了长湴村组织结构在20世纪上半叶到21世纪初近百年的时间里,如何历经分配制度的变迁,税费交收结构及权力结构的转型,市场法人产权结构的形成,最终由宗族演变为公司的过程。这个过程展示了一种独特的农村城镇化过程,也是目前新农村建设的一条可以探索并加以引导的路径。
  • 钦定词谱

    钦定词谱

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 花妖记事

    花妖记事

    花妖,花妖,为何个个都如此痴情?挖心之恨,背叛之疼,违约之苦………这一切值吗?