"I hate to say that to you, Mother," I told her."You don't know how I hate it.I would tell you if I could."She pressed my hand."I know you would, Roscoe," she said."I am quite content not to know.That your reason for selling was an honorable one, that is all I ask.""It was that, Mother."
"I am sure of it.But," hesitatingly, "can you tell me this: You did not do it because you needed money--for me? Our income is the same as ever? We have not met with losses?""No, Mother.Our income is the same that it has been for years.""Then it was not because of me; because you felt that I should have those 'luxuries' you talk about so often? Oh, I don't need them, Roscoe I really don't.I am--I scarcely dare say it for fear it may not be true--but I THINK I am better than I have been.I feel stronger.""I know you are better, Mother.Doctor Quimby is very much encouraged.""Is he? I am so glad! For your sake, Boy.Perhaps the time will come when I may not be your Old Man Of the Sea as I am now.But you did not sell the land because of me?""No."
"You did not sell it for yourself, that I know.I wonder...
But, there! I mustn't wonder, and I won't.Captain Dean was very angry and unreasonable, Dorinda says.I suppose his pride is hurt.
I'm afraid he will make it unpleasant for you in the village.""He will do his best, I'm sure of that."
"You poor boy! As if you did not have enough to bear without that!
He has asked you to resign from the bank?"I smiled."He has pitched me out, neck and crop," I answered."Iexpected that, of course."
"But what will you do? Can't Mr.Taylor help you? Perhaps he will use his influence with the captain.""I don't need his influence, Mother.I took the place merely because of a whim.Now that I have lost it I am no worse off than I was before.""But you enjoyed the work?"
"Yes."
I was only beginning to realize how much I had enjoyed it.Isighed, involuntarily.
Mother heard the sigh and the pressure of her hand on mine tightened.
"Poor boy!" she said again.Then, after a moment, "I wish I might talk with Miss Colton about this."I started violently.What had put that idea in her head?
"Miss Colton!" I exclaimed."Mother, whatever you do, don't speak to her--about me.""Why not? She has not called on us for some time, but she is interested in you, I know.And perhaps her father could--""Mother, don't."
She was silent for an instant.Then she said, quietly."Boy, what is it? Is there something else you haven't told me? Something about--her?""No, no," I stammered.
"Isn't there? Are you sure?"
I do not know what reply I should have made.Her question, coming so close upon the heels of Dorinda's hints, upset me completely.
Was it written upon my face, for everyone to see? Did I look the incredible idiot that I knew myself to be? For I did know it.In spite of my determination not to admit it even in my innermost thoughts, I knew.I was in love with Mabel Colton--madly, insanely, hopelessly in love with her, and should be until my dying day.
I had played with fire too long.
Before I could answer there came a knock at the door.It opened and Dorinda's head appeared.She seemed, for her, excited.
"There's somebody to see you, Ros," she said."You'd better come out soon's you can.He's in a hurry.""Someone to see me," I repeated."Who is it?"Dorinda glanced at Mother and then at me.She did not so much as whisper, but her lips formed a name.I rose from my chair.
Mother looked at me and then at Dorinda.
"Who is it, Roscoe?" she asked.
"Just a caller on a business matter," I answered, hurriedly."I'll be out at once, Dorinda.""But who is it, Roscoe?"
"It's Mr.Colton, Mother.He has probably come to--""Dorinda," Mother interrupted me, "ask Mr.Colton to come in here.""But, Mother--"
"Ask him to come in here, Dorinda.I should like to meet him."Dorinda hesitated, but when Mother spoke in that tone none of us hesitated long.She disappeared.A moment later the door opened wide and Colton entered.The sudden transition from sunlight to semidarkness bewildered him for a moment, doubtless, for he stood there without speaking.Dorinda, who had ushered him in, went out and closed the door.I stepped forward.
"Good morning, Mr.Colton," I said, as calmly as I could."You have never met my mother, I think.Mother, this is Mr.Colton, our neighbor."Colton turned toward the bed and murmured a few words.For once, Ithink, he was startled out of his customary cool self-possession.
And when Mother spoke it seemed to me that she, too, was disturbed.
"Roscoe," she said, quickly, "will you draw that window-shade a little more? The light is rather strong.Thank you.Mr.Colton, I am very glad to meet you.I have heard of you often, of course, and I have met your daughter.She has been very kind to me, in many ways.Won't you sit down?"I drew forward a chair.Our visitor accepted it.
"Thank you, Mrs.Paine," he said."I will sit.To be honest, I'm very glad of the opportunity.I have been under the doctor's care for the past few weeks and last night's performance is not the best sort of treatment for a tender digestion.The doctor told me what I needed was rest and sleep and freedom from care.I told him Iprobably shouldn't get the last item till I was dead.As for the rest--and sleep-- Humph!" with a short laugh, "I wonder what he would have said if he had seen me last night."Mother's face was turned away from him on the pillow."I am sorry to hear that you have been ill, Mr.Colton," she said.
"Ill! I'm not ill.I have never been sick in my life and I don't propose to begin now.If the crowd in New York would let me alone I should be all right enough.There is a deal on there that is likely to come to a head pretty soon and my people at the office are nervous.They keep 'phoning and telegraphing and upsetting things generally.I'll have to run over there myself in a day or two and straighten it out.But there! I didn't come here to worry you with my troubles.I feel as if I knew you, Mrs.Paine.""Knew me? Knew ME, Mr.Colton?"
