"No, fourteen- that is, I shall be fourteen very soon, in a fortnight.I'll confess one weakness of mine, Karamazov, just to you, since it's our first meeting, so that you may understand my character at once.I hate being asked my age, more than that...and in fact...there's a libellous story going about me, that last week Iplayed robbers with the preparatory boys.It's a fact that I did play with them, but it's a perfect libel to say I did it for my own amusement.I have reasons for believing that you've heard the story;but I wasn't playing for my own amusement, it was for the sake of the children, because they couldn't think of anything to do by themselves.But they've always got some silly tale.This is an awful town for gossip, I can tell you.""But what if you had been playing for your own amusement, what's the harm?""Come, I say, for my own amusement! You don't play horses, do you?""But you must look at it like this," said Alyosha, smiling.
"Grown-up people go to the theatre and there the adventures of all sorts of heroes are represented- sometimes there are robbers and battles, too- and isn't that just the same thing, in a different form, of course? And young people's games of soldiers or robbers in their playtime are also art in its first stage.You know, they spring from the growing artistic instincts of the young.And sometimes these games are much better than performances in the theatre; the only difference is that people go there to look at the actors, while in these games the young people are the actors themselves.But that's only natural.""You think so? Is that your idea?" Kolya looked at him intently.
"Oh, you know, that's rather an interesting view.When I go home, I'll think it over.I'll admit I thought I might learn something from you.I've come to learn of you, Karamazov," Kolya concluded, in a voice full of spontaneous feeling.
"And I of you," said Alyosha, smiling and pressing his hand.
Kolya was much pleased with Alyosha.What struck him most was that he treated him exactly like an equal and that he talked to him just as if he were "quite grown up.""I'll show you something directly, Karamazov; it's a theatrical performance, too," he said, laughing nervously."That's why I've come.""Let us go first to the people of the house, on the left.All the boys leave their coats in there, because the room is small and hot.""Oh, I'm only coming in for a minute.I'll keep on my overcoat.
Perezvon will stay here in the passage and be dead.Ici, Perezvon, lie down and be dead! You see how he's dead.I'll go in first and explore, then I'll whistle to him when I think fit, and you'll see, he'll dash in like mad.Only Smurov must not forget to open the door at the moment.I'll arrange it all and you'll see something."Chapter 5
By Ilusha's BedsideTHE room inhabited by the family of the retired captain Snegiryov is already familiar to the reader.It was close and crowded at that moment with a number of visitors.Several boys were sitting with Ilusha, and though all of them, like Smurov, were prepared to deny that it was Alyosha who had brought them and reconciled them with Ilusha, it was really the fact.All the art he had used had been to take them, one by one, to Ilusha, without "sheepish sentimentality," appearing to do so casually and without design.It was a great consolation to Ilusha in his suffering.He was greatly touched by seeing the almost tender affection and sympathy shown him by these boys, who had been his enemies.Krassotkin was the only one missing and his absence was a heavy load on Ilusha's heart.Perhaps the bitterest of all his bitter memories was his stabbing Krassotkin, who had been his one friend and protector.Clever little Smurov, who was the first to make it up with Ilusha, thought it was so.But when Smurov hinted to Krassotkin that Alyosha wanted to come and see him about something, the latter cut him short, bidding Smurov tell "Karamazov" at once that he knew best what to do, that he wanted no one's advice, and that, if he went to see Ilusha, he would choose his own time for he had "his own reasons."That was a fortnight before this Sunday.That was why Alyosha had not been to see him, as he had meant to.But though he waited he sent Smurov to him twice again.Both times Krassotkin met him with a curt, impatient refusal, sending Alyosha a message not to bother him any more, that if he came himself, he, Krassotkin, would not go to Ilusha at all.Up to the very last day, Smurov did not know that Kolya meant to go to Ilusha that morning, and only the evening before, as he parted from Smurov, Kolya abruptly told him to wait at home for him next morning, for he would go with him to the Snegiryovs, but warned him on no account to say he was coming, as he wanted to drop in casually.Smurov obeyed.Smurov's fancy that Kolya would bring back the lost dog was based on the words Kolya had dropped that "they must be asses not to find the dog, if it was alive." When Smurov, waiting for an opportunity, timidly hinted at his guess about the dog, Krassotkin flew into a violent rage."I'm not such an ass as to go hunting about the town for other people's dogs when I've got a dog of my own! And how can you imagine a dog could be alive after swallowing a pin? Sheepish sentimentality, thats what it is!
For the last fortnight Ilusha had not left his little bed under the ikons in the corner.He had not been to school since the day he met Alyosha and bit his finger.He was taken ill the same day, though for a month afterwards he was sometimes able to get up and walk about the room and passage.But latterly he had become so weak that he could not move without help from his father.His father was terribly concerned about him.He even gave up drinking and was almost crazy with terror that his boy would die.And often, especially after leading him round the room on his arm and putting him back to bed, he would run to a dark corner in the passage and, leaning his head against the wall, he would break into paroxysms of violent weeping, stifling his sobs that they might not be heard by Ilusha.
