"Ah! if you had but never got this fancy into your head! It was such apleasure to think of you as a friend."
"But I may hope, may I not, Margaret, that some time you will think ofme as a lover? Not yet, I see--there is no hurry--but some time----"
She was silent for a minute or two, trying to discover the truth as it wasin her own heart, before replying; then she said:
"I have never thought of--you, but as a friend. I like to think of you so; but I am sure I could never think of you as anything else. Pray, let usboth forget that all this" ("disagreeable," she was going to say, butstopped short) "conversation has taken place."
He paused before he replied. Then, in his habitual coldness of tone, heanswered:
"Of course, as your feelings are so decided, and as this conversation hasbeen so evidently unpleasant to you, it had better not be remembered.
That is all very fine in theory, that plan of forgetting whatever ispainful, but it will be somewhat difficult for me, at least, to carry it intoexecution."
"You are vexed," said she, sadly; "yet how can I help it?"
She looked so truly grieved as she said this, that he struggled for amoment with his real disappointment, and then answered morecheerfully, but still with a little hardness in his tone:
"You should make allowances for the mortification, not only of a lover,Margaret, but of a man not given to romance in general--prudent,worldly, as some people call me--who has been carried out of his usualhabits by the force of a passion--well, we will say no more of that; butin the one outlet which he has formed for the deeper and better feelingsof his nature, he meets with rejection and repulse. I shall have toconsole myself with scorning my own folly. A struggling barrister tothink of matrimony!"
Margaret could not answer this. The whole tone of it annoyed her. Itseemed to touch on and call out all the points of difference which hadoften repelled her in him; while yet he was the pleasantest man, themost sympathising friend, the person of all others who understood herbest in Harley Street. She felt a tinge of contempt mingle itself with herpain at having refused him. Her beautiful lip curled in a slight disdain.
It was well that, having made the round of the garden, they camesuddenly upon Mr. Hale, whose whereabouts had been quite forgottenby them. He had not yet finished the pear, which he had delicatelypeeled in one long strip of silver-paper thinness, and which he wasenjoying in a deliberate manner. It was like the story of the easternking, who dipped his head into a basin of water, at the magician"scommand, and ere he instantly took it out went through the experienceof a lifetime. I Margaret felt stunned, and unable to recover her self-possession enough to join in the trivial conversation that ensuedbetween her father and Mr. Lennox. She was grave, and little disposedto speak; full of wonder when Mr. Lennox would go, and allow her torelax into thought on the events of the last quarter of an hour. He wasalmost as anxious to take his departure as she was for him to leave; buta few minutes light and careless talking, carried on at whatever effort,was a sacrifice which he owed to his mortified vanity, or his self respect. He glanced from time to time at her sad and pensive face.
"I am not so indifferent to her as she believes," thought he to himself. "Ido not give up hope."
Before a quarter of an hour was over, he had fallen into a way ofconversing with quiet sarcasm; speaking of life in London and life inthe country, as if he were conscious of his second mocking self, andafraid of his own satire. Mr. Hale was puzzled. His visitor was adifferent man to what he had seen him before at the wedding-breakfast,and at dinner to-day; a lighter, cleverer, more worldly man, and, assuch, dissonant to Mr. Hale. It was a relief to all three when Mr. Lennoxsaid that he must go directly if he meant to catch the five o"clock train.
They proceeded to the house to find Mrs. Hale, and wish her good-bye.
At the last moment, Henry Lennox"s real self broke through the crust.
"Margaret, don"t despise me; I have a heart, notwithstanding all thisgood-for-nothing way of talking. As a proof of it, I believe I love youmore than ever--if I do not hate you--for the disdain with which youhave listened to me during this last half-hour. Good-bye, Margaret-Margaret!"
