the intelligence to think for myself, I done just what she told me. I ups with her in my arms--she bein' a light weight and a slender figure--and makes for the canal as fast as I could. When I got there, I lays her on the bank and goes for the water. But what with factories, and pollutions, and high civilizations of one sort and another, English canal water ain't fit to sprinkle on a lady, much less for her to drink. Just then, as luck would have it, a barge came along and took her aboard, and--""To such a thing," said Wickens's boy stubbornly, emboldened by witnessing the effrontery of one apparently of his own class. "Isor you two standin' together, and her a kissin' of you. There worn's no barge.""Is the maiden modesty of a born lady to be disbelieved on the word of a common boy that only walks the earth by the sufferance of the landlords and moneylords he helps to feed?" cried Smilash indignantly. "Why, you young infidel, a lady ain't made of common brick like you. She don't know what a kiss means, and if she did, is it likely that she'd kiss me when a fine man like the inspector here would be only too happy to oblige her. Fie, for shame! The barge were red and yellow, with a green dragon for a figurehead, and a white horse towin' of it. Perhaps you're color-blind, and can't distinguish red and yellow. The bargee was moved to compassion by the sight of the poor faintin' lady, and the offer of 'arf-a-crown, and he had a mother that acted as a mother should. There was a cabin in that barge about as big as the locker where your ladyship keeps your jam and pickles, and in that locker the bargee lives, quite domestic, with his wife and mother and five children. Them canal boats is what you may call the wooden walls of England.""Come, get on with your story," said the inspector. "We know what barges is as well as you.""I wish more knew of 'em," retorted Smilash; "perhaps it 'ud lighten your work a bit. However, as I was sayin', we went right down the canal to Lyvern, where we got off, and the lady she took the railway omnibus and went away in it. With the noble openhandedness of her class, she gave me sixpence; here it is, in proof that my words is true. And I wish her safe home, and if Iwas on the rack I could tell no more, except that when I got back I were laid hands on by these here bobbies, contrary to the British constitooshun, and if your ladyship will kindly go to where that constitooshun is wrote down, and find out wot it sez about my rights and liberties--for I have been told that the working-man has his liberties, and have myself seen plenty took with him --you will oblige a common chap more than his education will enable him to express.""Sir," cried Mr. Jansenius suddenly, "will you hold up your head and look me in the face?"Smilash did so, and immediately started theatrically, exclaiming, "Whom do I see?""You would hardly believe it," he continued, addressing the company at large, "but I am well beknown to this honorable gentleman. I see it upon your lips, governor, to ask after my missus, and I thank you for your condescending interest. She is well, sir, and my residence here is fully agreed upon between us.
What little cloud may have rose upon our domestic horizon has past away; and, governor"---here Smilash's voice fell with graver emphasis--"them as interferes betwixt man and wife now will incur a nevvy responsibility. Here I am, such as you see me, and here Imean to stay, likewise such as you see me. That is, if what you may call destiny permits. For destiny is a rum thing, governor. Icame here thinking it was the last place in the world I should ever set eyes on you in, and blow me if you ain't a'most the first person I pops on.""I do not choose to be a party to this mummery of--""Asking your leave to take the word out of your mouth, governor, I make you a party to nothink. Respecting my past conduct, you may out with it or you may keep it to yourself. All I say is that if you out with some of it I will out with the rest. All or none.
