These influences go hand-in-hand with that general tendency to rebel against trouble which is involved in the spirit of choice. In former days women accepted the bearing of children and the accompanying cares and privations as a matter of course； it did not occur to them that anything else was possible. Now， being accustomed to choose their life， they demand a reason why they should undergo hardships； and since the advantages which are to follow are doubtful and remote， and the suffering near and obvious， they are not unlikely to refuse. Too com-(360)-monly they have no inwrought principles and training that dispose them to submit.
The distraction of choice grievously increases the actual burden and stress upon women) for it is comparatively easy to put up with the inevitable.
What with moral strain of this sort and the anxious selection among conflicting methods of nurture and education it possibly costs the mother of to-day more psychical energy to raise four children than it did her grandmother to raise eight.
It would be strange if children were not hospitable to the modern sentiment that one will is as good as another， except as the other may be demonstrably wiser in regard to the matter in hand. Willing submission to authority as such， or sense of the value of discipline as a condition of the larger and less obvious well-being of society， is hardly to be expected from childish reasoning， and must come， if at all， as the unconscious result of a training which reflects general sentiment and custom. It is institutional in its nature， not visibly reasonable.
But the child， in our day， finds no such institution， no general state of sentiment such as exists in Japan and existed in our own past， which fills the mind from infancy with suggestions that parents are to be reverenced and obeyed； nor do parents ordinarily do much to instil this by training.
Probably， so great is the power of general opinion even in childhood， they would hardly succeed if they tried， but as a rule they do not seriously try. Being themselves accustomed to the view that authority must appeal to the reason of the subject， they see nothing strange (361) The fond attention which parents give to their children is often of a sort to overstimulate their self-consequence. This constantly asking them， What would you like？ Shall we do this or that ？ Where do you want to go ？ and so on， though amiable on our part， does the child little good.
The old practice of keeping children at a distance， whatever its evils， was more apt to foster reverence.
Among hand-workers， especially in the country， the work being more obvious and often shared by the whole family， the pressure of necessary labor makes a kind of discipline for all， and the children are more likely to see that there are rules and conditions of life above their immediate pleasure.
Social play， as we have seen， may also do much for this perception. But this visible control of a higher law has a decreasing part in modern life， especially with the well-to-do classes， whose labors are seldom such as children may share， or even understand.
In this， as in so many other respects， we are approaching a higher kind of life at the cost of incidental demoralization. The modern family at its best， with its intimate sympathy and its discipline of love， is of a higher type than the family of an older regime. "I never，" said Thackeray， "saw people on better terms with each other， more frank， affectionate， and cordial， than the parents and the grown-up young folks in the United States. And why ？ Because the children were spoiled， to be sure." [2] But where this ideal is not reached， there is apt to be a somewhat disastrous failure which makes one regret the auto-(362)-cratic and traditional order. Not merely is discipline lacking， but the affection which might be supposed to go with indulgence is turned to indifference， if not contempt. As a rule we love those we can look up to， those who stand for the higher ideal. In old days parents shared some what in that divinity with which tradition hedged the great of the earth， and might receive a reverence not dependent upon their personality； and even to-day they are likely to be better loved if they exact respect梛ust as an officer is better loved who enforces discipline and is not too familiar with his soldiers. Human nature needs some thing to look up to， and it is a pity when parents do not in part supply this need for their children.
In short， the child， like the woman， helps to bear the often grievous burden of disorganization； bears it， among the well-to-do classes， in an ill-regulated life， in lack of reverence and love， in nervousness and petulance；as well as in premature and stunting labor among the poor：
The opening of new careers to women and a resulting economic independence approaching that of men is another phase of " individualism " that has its worse and better aspects. In general it has， through the fuller self-expression of women， most beneficial reactions both upon family life and society at large， but creates some trouble in the way of domestic reluctance and discontent.
The disposition to reject marriage altogether may be set aside as scarcely existent. The marriage rate shows little decline， though the average age is somewhat advanced The wage-earning occupations of women are mostly of a temporary character， and the great majority of domestic (363) servants， shop and factory girls， clerks， typewriters and teachers marry sooner or later. There is no reason to doubt that a congenial marriage continues to be the almost universal feminine ideal.
A more real problem， perhaps is found in the excessive requirements， in the way of comfort and refinement， that young women are said to cherish.
