"I think I answered the learned man; that is, the farmer-general, that I did not pity the poor whom he had seen upon the rampart, waiting for my farthing; that he had probably amply made it up to them; that I appointed him my substitute, that the poor of Paris would have reason to complain of the change; and that I should not easily find so good a one for the poor of Montmorency, who were in much greater need of assistance.Here is a good and respectable old man, who, after having worked hard all his lifetime, no longer being able to continue his labors, is in his old days dying with hunger.My conscience is more satisfied with the two sols I give him every Monday, than with the hundred farthings I should have distributed amongst all the beggars on the rampart.You are pleasant men, you philosophers, while you consider the inhabitants of cities as the only persons whom you ought to befriend.It is in the country men learn how to love and serve humanity; all they learn in cities is to despise it."Such were the singular scruples on which a man of sense had the folly to attribute to me as a crime my retiring from Paris, and pretended to prove to me by my own example, that it was not possible to live out of the capital without becoming a bad man.I cannot at present conceive how I could be guilty of the folly of answering him, and of suffering myself to be angry instead of laughing in his face.However, the decisions of Madam d'Epinay and the clamors of the Coterie Holbachique had so far operated in her favor, that I was generally thought to be in the wrong; and the D'Houdetot herself, very partial to Diderot, insisted upon my going to see him at Paris, and making all the advances towards an accommodation, which, full and sincere as it was on my part, was not of long duration.The victorious argument by which she subdued my heart was, that at that moment Diderot was in distress.Besides the storm excited against the Encyclopedie, he had then another violent one to make head against, relative to his piece, which, notwithstanding the short history he had printed at the head of it, he was accused of having entirely taken from Goldoni.Diderot, more wounded by criticisms than Voltaire, was overwhelmed by them.Madam de Grasigny had been malicious enough to spread a report that I had broken with him on this account.Ithought it would be just and generous publicly to prove the contrary, and I went to pass two days, not only with him, but at his lodgings.This, since I had taken up my abode at the Hermitage, was my second journey to Paris.I had made the first to run to poor Gauffecourt, who had had a stroke of apoplexy, from which he has never perfectly recovered: I did not quit the side of his pillow until he was so far restored as to have no further need of my assistance.
Diderot received me well.How many wrongs are effaced by the embraces of a friend! after these, what resentment can remain in the heart? We came to but little explanation.This is needless for reciprocal invectives.The only thing necessary is to know how to forget them.There had been no underhand proceedings, none at least that had come to my knowledge: the case was not the same with Madam d'Epinay.He showed me the plan of the Pere de Famille.* "This,"said I to him, "is the best defense of the Fils Naturel.Be silent, give your attention to this piece, and then throw it at the heads of your enemies as the only answer you think proper to make them." He did so, and was satisfied with what he had done.I had six months before sent him the first two parts of my Eloisa to have his opinion upon them.He had not yet read the work over.We read a part of it together.He found this feuillet, that was his term, by which he meant loaded with words and redundancies.I myself had already perceived it;but it was the babbling of the fever: I have never been able to correct it.The last parts are not the same.The fourth especially, and the sixth, are masterpieces of diction.
* Father of the Family; a Comedy by Diderot.
The second day after my arrival, he would absolutely take me to sup with M.d'Holbach.We were far from agreeing upon this point;for I wished even to get rid of the bargain for the manuscript on chemistry, for which I was enraged to be obliged to that man.
Diderot carried all before him.He swore D'Holbach loved me with all his heart, said I must forgive him his manner, which was the same to everybody, and more disagreeable to his friends than to others.He observed to me that, refusing the produce of this manuscript, after having accepted it two years before, was an affront to the donor which he had not deserved, and that my refusal might be interpreted into a secret reproach, for having waited so long to conclude the bargain."Isee," added he, "D'Holbach every day, and know better than you do the nature of his disposition.Had you reason to be dissatisfied with him, do you think your friend capable of advising you to do a mean thing?" In short, with my accustomed weakness, I suffered myself to be prevailed upon, and we went to sup with the baron, who received me as he usually had done.But his wife received me coldly and almost uncivilly.I saw nothing in her which resembled the amiable Caroline, who, when a maid, expressed for me so many good wishes.Ithought I had already perceived that since Grimm had frequented the house of D'Aine, I had not met there so friendly a reception.
