I can only profit by experience and build better in the future.""I don't see how you can be sure of yourself,"said Elnora.
"I don't see how I could be sure of you.You loved her first,you never can care for me anything like that.Always I'd have to be afraid you were thinking of her and regretting.""Folly!"cried Philip."Regretting what?That Iwas not married to a woman who was liable to rave at me any time or place,without my being conscious of having given offence?A man does relish that!I am likely to pine for more!""You'd be thinking she'd learned a lesson.You would think it wouldn't happen again.""No,I wouldn't be `thinking,'"said,Philip."I'd be everlastingly sure!I wouldn't risk what I went through that night again,not to save my life!Just you and me,Elnora.Decide for us.""I can't!"cried Elnora."I am afraid!"
"Very well,"said Philip."We will wait until you feel that you can.Wait until fear vanishes.Just decide now whether you would rather have me go for a few months,or remain with you.Which shall it be,Elnora?""You can never love me as you did her,"wailed Elnora.
"I am happy to say I cannot,"replied he."I've cut my matrimonial teeth.I'm cured of wanting to swell in society.I'm over being proud of a woman for her looks alone.I have no further use for lavishing myself on a beautiful,elegantly dressed creature,who thinks only of self.I have learned that I am a common man.I admire beauty and beautiful clothing quite as much as I ever did;but,first,I want an understanding,deep as the lowest recess of my soul,with the woman I marry.I want to work for you,to plan for you,to build you a home with every comfort,to give you all good things I can,to shield you from every evil.I want to interpose my body between yours and fire,flood,or famine.I want to give you everything;but I hate the idea of getting nothing at all on which I can depend in return.Edith Carr had only good looks to offer,and when anger overtook her,beauty went out like a snuffed candle.
"I want you to love me.I want some consideration.
I even crave respect.I've kept myself clean.So far as I know how to be,I am honest and scrupulous.
It wouldn't hurt me to feel that you took some interest in these things.Rather fierce temptations strike a man,every few days,in this world.I can keep decent,for a woman who cares for decency,but when I do,I'd like to have the fact recognized,by just enough of a show of appreciation that I could see it.I am tired of this one-sided business.After this,I want to get a little in return for what I give.Elnora,you have love,tenderness,and honest appreciation of the finest in life.Take what I offer,and give what I ask.""You do not ask much,"said Elnora.
"As for not loving you as I did Edith,"continued Philip,"as I said before,I hope not!I have a newer and a better idea of loving.The feeling I offer you was inspired by you.It is a Limberlost product.It is as much bigger,cleaner,and more wholesome than any feeling I ever had for Edith Carr,as you are bigger than she,when you stand before your classes and in calm dignity explain the marvels of the Almighty,while she stands on a ballroom floor,and gives way to uncontrolled temper.
Ye gods,Elnora,if you could look into my soul,you would see it leap and rejoice over my escape!Perhaps it isn't decent,but it's human;and I'm only a common human being.I'm the gladdest man alive that I'm free!
I would turn somersaults and yell if I dared.What an escape!
Stop straining after Edith Carr's viewpoint and take a look from mine.Put yourself in my place and try to study out how I feel.
"I am so happy I grow religious over it.Fifty times a day I catch myself whispering,`My soul is escaped!'
As for you,take all the time you want.If you prefer to be alone,I'll take the next train and stay away as long as I can bear it,but I'll come back.You can be most sure of that.Straight as your pigeons to their loft,I'll come back to you,Elnora.Shall I go?""Oh,what's the use to be extravagant?"murmured Elnora.
