THE story of FREDERICK GOWLER,A mariner of the sea,Who quitted his ship,the HOWLER,Asailing in Caribbee.
For many a day he wandered,Till he met in a state of rum CALAMITY POP VON PEPPERMINT DROP,The King of CanoodleDum.
That monarch addressed him gaily,"Hum!Golly de do today?
Hum!Lilywhite Buckra Sailee"
(You notice his playful way?)
"What dickens you doin'here,sar?
Why debbil you want to come?
Hum!Picaninnee,dere isn't no sea In City CanoodleDum!"
And GOWLER he answered sadly,"Oh,mine is a doleful tale!
They've treated me werry badly In Lunnon,from where I hail.
I'm one of the Family Royal
No common Jack Tar you see;
I'm WILLIAM THE FOURTH,far up in the North,A King in my own countree!"
Bangbang!How the tomtoms thundered!
Bangbang!How they thumped this gongs!
Bangbang!How the people wondered!
Bangbang!At it hammer and tongs!
Alliance with Kings of Europe Is an honour Canoodlers seek,Her monarchs don't stop with PEPPERMINT DROPEvery day in the week!
FRED told them that he was undone,For his people all went insane,And fired the Tower of London,And Grinnidge's Naval Fane.
And some of them racked St.James's,And vented their rage upon The Church of St.Paul,the Fishmongers'Hall,And the Angel at Islington.
CALAMITY POP implored him In his capital to remain Till those people of his restored him To power and rank again.
CALAMITY POP he made him A Prince of CanoodleDum,With a couple of caves,some beautiful slaves,And the run of the royal rum.
Pop gave him his only daughter,HUM PICKETY WIMPLE TIP:
FRED vowed that if over the water He went,in an English ship,He'd make her his Queen,though truly It is an unusual thing For a Caribbee brat who's as black as your hat To be wife of an English King.
And all the CanoodleDummers They copied his rolling walk,His method of draining rummers,His emblematical talk.
For his dress and his graceful breeding,His delicate taste in rum,And his nautical way,were the talk of the day In the Court of CanoodleDum.
CALAMITY POP most wisely Determined in everything To model his Court precisely On that of the English King;And ordered that every lady And every lady's lord Should masticate jacky (a kind of tobaccy),And scatter its juice abroad.
They signified wonder roundly At any astounding yarn,By darning their dear eyes roundly ('T was all they had to darn).
They "hoisted their slacks,"adjusting Garments of plantainleaves With nautical twitches (as if they wore breeches,Instead of a dress like EVE'S!)They shivered their timbers proudly,At a phantom forelock dragged,And called for a hornpipe loudly Whenever amusement flagged.
"Hum!Golly!him POP resemble,Him Britisher sov'reign,hum!
CALAMITY POP VON PEPPERMINT DROP,De King of CanoodleDum!"
The mariner's lively "Hollo!"
Enlivened Canoodle's plain (For blessings unnumbered follow In Civilization's train).
But Fortune,who loves a bathos,A terrible ending planned,For ADMIRAL D.CHICKABIDDY,C.B.,Placed foot on Canoodle land!
That rebel,he seized KING GOWLER,He threatened his royal brains,And put him aboard the HOWLER,And fastened him down with chains.
The HOWLER she weighed her anchor,With FREDERICK nicely nailed,And off to the North with WILLIAM THE FOURTHThese horrible pirates sailed.
CALAMITY said (with folly),"Hum!nebber want him again Him civilize all of us,golly!
CALAMITY suck him brain!"
The people,however,were pained when They saw him aboard his ship,But none of them wept for their FREDDY,except HUM PICKETY WIMPLE TIP.
