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第179章 six 1954-1965 Dane(11)

"How about coming over to my place for coffee and whatever?" she asked, looking down at Dane. "The two of you?" she added reluctantly. Justine shook her head positively, her eyes lighting up at a sudden thought. "No, thanks, I can't. You'll have to be content with Dane." He shook his head just as positively, but rather regretfully, as if he was truly tempted. "Thanks anyway, Martha, but I can't." He glanced at his watch as at a savior. "Lord, I've only got a minute left on my meter! How much longer are you going to be, Jus?"

"About ten minutes."

"I'll wait for you outside, all right?"

"Chicken!" she mocked.

Martha's dusky eyes followed him. "He is absolutely gorgeous. Why won't he look at me?"

Justine grinned sourly, scrubbed her face clean at last. The freckles were coming back. Maybe London would help; no sun. "Oh, don't worry, he looks. He'd like, too. But will he? Not Dane."

"Why? What's the matter with him? Never tell me he's a poof! Shit, why is it every gorgeous man I meet is a poof? I never thought Dane was, though; he doesn't strike me that way at all."

"Watch your language, you dumb wart! He most certainly isn't a poof. In fact, the day he looks at Sweet William, our screaming juvenile, I'll cut his throat and Sweet William's, too."

"Well, if he isn't a pansy and he likes, why doesn't he take? Doesn't he get my message? Does he think I'm too old for him?" "Sweetie, at a hundred you won't be too old for the average man, don't worry about it. No, Dane's sworn off sex for life, the fool. He's going to be a priest."

Martha's lush mouth dropped open, she swung back her mane of inky hair. "Go on!"

"True, true."

"You mean to say all that's going to be wasted?" "Afraid so. He's offering it to God."

"Then God's a bigger poofter than Sweet Willie."

"You might be right," said Justine. "He certainly isn't too fond of women, anyway. Second-class, that's us, way back in the Upper Circle. Front Stalls and the Mezzanine, strictly male."

"Oh."

Justine wriggled out of Electra's robe, flung a thin cotton dress over her head, remembered it was chilly outside, added a cardigan, and patted Martha kindly on the head. "Don't worry about it, sweetie. God was very good to you; he didn't give you any brains. Believe me, it's far more comfortable that way. You'll never offer the Lords of Creation any competition."

"I don't know, I wouldn't mind competing with God for your brother." "Forget it. You're fighting the Establishment, and it just can't be done. You'd seduce Sweet Willie far quicker, take my word for it."

A Vatican car met Dane at the airport, whisked him through sunny faded streets full of handsome, smiling people; he glued his nose to the window and drank it all in, unbearably excited at seeing for himself the things he had seen only in pictures-the Roman columns, the rococo palaces, the Renaissance glory of Saint Peter's.

And waiting for him, clad this time in scarlet from head to foot, was Ralph Raoul, Cardinal de Bricassart. The hand was outstretched, its ring glowing; Dane sank on both knees to kiss it.

"Stand up, Dane, let me look at you."

He stood, smiling at the tall man who was almost exactly his own height; they could look each other hi the eye. To Dane the Cardinal had an immense aura of spiritual power which made him think of a pope rather than a saint, yet those intensely sad eyes were not the eyes of a pope. How much he must have suffered to appear so, but how nobly he must have risen above his suffering to become this most perfect of priests. And Cardinal Ralph gazed at the son he did not know was his son, loving him, he thought, because he was dear Meggie's boy. Just so would he have wanted to see a son of his own body; as tall, as strikingly good looking, as graceful. In all his life he had never seen a man move so well. But far more satisfying than anyphysical beauty was the simple beauty of his soul. He had the strength of the angels, and something of their unearthliness. Had he been so himself, at eighteen? He tried to remember, span the crowded events of three fifths of a lifetime; no, he had never been so. Was it because this one came truly of his own choice? For he himself had not, though he had had the vocation, of that much he still was sure.

"Sit down, Dane. Did you do as I asked, start to learn Italian?" "At this stage I speak it fluently but without idiom, and I read it very well. Probably the fact that it's my fourth language makes it easier. I seem to have a talent for languages. A couple of weeks here and I ought to pick up the vernacular."

"Yes, you will. I, too, have a talent for languages."

"Well, they're handy," said Dane lamely. The awesome scarlet figure was a little daunting; it was suddenly hard to remember the man on the chestnut gelding at Drogheda.

Cardinal Ralph leaned forward, watching him.

"I pass the responsibility for him to you, Ralph," Meggie's letter had said. "I charge you with his wellbeing, his happiness. What I stole, I give back. It is demanded of me. Only promise me two things, and I'll rest in the knowledge you've acted in his best interests. First, promise me you'll make sure before you accept him that this is what he truly, absolutely wants. Secondly, that if this is what he wants, you'll keep your eye on him, make sure it remains what he wants. If he should lose heart for it, I want him back. For he belonged to me first. It is I who gives him to you." "Dane, are you sure?" asked the Cardinal.

"Absolutely."

"Why?"

His eyes were curiously aloof, uncomfortably familiar, but familiar in a way which was of the past.

"Because of the love I bear Our Lord. I want to serve Him as His priest all of my days."

"Do you understand what His service entails, Dane?" "Yes."

"That no other love must ever come between you and Him? That you are His exclusively, forsaking all others?"

"Yes."

"That His Will be done in all things, that in His service you must bury your personality, your individuality, your concept of yourself as uniquely important?"

"Yes."

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