But let us not outrun our narrative.After close examination of the fronts of the caverns, and much thinking and exchanging of theories, the scientists determined the nature of these singular formations.They said that each belonged mainly to the Old Red Sandstone period; that the cavern fronts rose in innumerable and wonderfully regular strata high in the air, each stratum about five frog-spans thick, and that in the present discovery lay an overpowering refutation of all received geology;for between every two layers of Old Red Sandstone reposed a thin layer of decomposed limestone; so instead of there having been but one Old Red Sandstone period there had certainly been not less than a hundred and seventy-five! And by the same token it was plain that there had also been a hundred and seventy-five floodings of the earth and depositings of limestone strata! The unavoidable deduction from which pair of facts was the overwhelming truth that the world, instead of being only two hundred thousand years old, was older by millions upon millions of years! And there was another curious thing: every stratum of Old Red Sandstone was pierced and divided at mathematically regular intervals by vertical strata of limestone.Up-shootings of igneous rock through fractures in water formations were common; but here was the first instance where water-formed rock had been so projected.It was a great and noble discovery, and its value to science was considered to be inestimable.
A critical examination of some of the lower strata demonstrated the presence of fossil ants and tumble-bugs (the latter accompanied by their peculiar goods), and with high gratification the fact was enrolled upon the scientific record; for this was proof that these vulgar laborers belonged to the first and lowest orders of created beings, though at the same time there was something repulsive in the reflection that the perfect and exquisite creature of the modern uppermost order owed its origin to such ignominious beings through the mysterious law of Development of Species.
The Tumble-Bug, overhearing this discussion, said he was willing that the parvenus of these new times should find what comfort they might in their wise-drawn theories, since as far as he was concerned he was content to be of the old first families and proud to point back to his place among the old original aristocracy of the land.
"Enjoy your mushroom dignity, stinking of the varnish of yesterday's veneering, since you like it," said he; "suffice it for the Tumble-Bugs that they come of a race that rolled their fragrant spheres down the solemn aisles of antiquity, and left their imperishable works embalmed in the Old Red Sandstone to proclaim it to the wasting centuries as they file along the highway of Time!""Oh, take a walk!" said the chief of the eKpedition, with derision.
The summer passed, and winter approached.In and about many of the caverns were what seemed to be inscriptions.Most of the scientists said they were inscriptions, a few said they were not.The chief philologist, Professor Woodlouse, maintained that they were writings, done in a character utterly unknown to scholars, and in a language equally unknown.
He had early ordered his artists and draftsmen to make facsimiles of all that were discovered; and had set himself about finding the key to the hidden tongue.In this work he had followed the method which had always been used by decipherers previously.That is to say, he placed a number of copies of inscriptions before him and studied them both collectively and in detail.To begin with, he placed the following copies together:
THE AMERICAN HOTEL.MEALS AT ALL HOURS.
THE SHADES.NO SMOKING.
BOATS FOR HIRE CHEAP UNION PRAYER MEETING, 6 P.M.
BILLIARDS.THE WATERSIDE JOURNAL.
THE A1 BARBER SHOP.TELEGRAPH OFFICE.
KEEP OFF THE GRASS.TRY BRANDRETH'S PILLS.
COTTAGES FOR RENT DURING THE WATERING SEASON.
FOR SALE CHEAP.FOR SALE CHEAP.
FOR SALE CHEAP.FOR SALE CHEAP.
At first it seemed to the professor that this was a sign-language, and that each word was represented by a distinct sign; further examination convinced him that it was a written language, and that every letter of its alphabet was represented by a character of its own; and finally he decided that it was a language which conveyed itself partly by letters, and partly by signs or hieroglyphics.This conclusion was forced upon him by the discovery of several specimens of the following nature:
He observed that certain inscriptions were met with in greater frequency than others.Such as "FOR SALE CHEAP"; "BILLIARDS"; "S.T.--1860--X";"KENO"; "ALE ON DRAUGHT." Naturally, then, these must be religious maxims.But this idea was cast aside by and by, as the mystery of the strange alphabet began to clear itself.In time, the professor was enabled to translate several of the inscriptions with considerable plausibility, though not to the perfect satisfaction of all the scholars.
Still, he made constant and encouraging progress.
Finally a cavern was discovered with these inscriptions upon it:
WATERSIDE MUSEUM.
Open at All Hours.
Admission 50 cents.
WONDERFUL COLLECTION OF
WAX-WORKS, ANCIENT FOSSILS, ETC.
Professor Woodlouse affirmed that the word "Museum" was equivalent to the phrase "lumgath molo," or "Burial Place." Upon entering, the scientists were well astonished.But what they saw may be best conveyed in the language of their own official report:
