has been stricken from the program.Much time will be spent in the Great Bear, and, indeed, in every constellation of importance.So, also, with the Sun and Moon and the Milky Pay, otherwise the Gulf Stream of the Skies.Clothing suitable for wear in the sun should be provided.Our program has been so arranged that we shall seldom go more than 100,000,000 of miles at a time without stopping at some star.This will necessarily make the stoppages frequent and preserve the interest of the tourist.Baggage checked through to any point on the route.Parties desiring to make only a part of the proposed tour, and thus save expense, may stop over at any star they choose and wait for the return voyage.
After visiting all the most celebrated stars and constellations in our system and personally, inspecting the remotest sparks that even the most powerful telescope can now detect in the firmament, we shall proceed with good heart upon A STUPENDOUS VOYAGEof discovery among the countless whirling worlds that make turmoil in the mighty wastes of space that stretch their solemn solitudes, their unimaginable vastness billions upon billions of miles away beyond the farthest verge of telescopic vision, till by comparison the little sparkling vault we used to gaze at on Earth shall seem like a remembered phosphorescent flash of spangles which some tropical voyager's prow stirred into life for a single instant, and which ten thousand miles of phosphorescent seas and tedious lapse of time had since diminished to an incident utterly trivial in his recollection.Children occupying seats at the first table will be charged full fare.
FIRST-CLASS FARE
from the Earth to Uranus, including visits to the Sun and Moon and all the principal planets on the route, will be charged at the low rate of $2 for every 50,000,000 miles of actual travel.A great reduction will be made where parties wish to make the round trip.This comet is new and in thorough repair and is now on her first voyage.She is confessedly the fastest on the line.She makes 20,000,000 miles a day, with her present facilities; but, with a picked American crew and good weather, we are confident we can get 40,000,000 out of her.Still, we shall never push her to a dangerous speed, and we shall rigidly prohibit racing with other comets.Passengers desiring to diverge at any point or return will be transferred to other comets.We make close connections at all principal points with all reliable lines.Safety can be depended upon.
It is not to be denied that the heavens are infested with OLD RAMSHACKLE COMETSthat have not been inspected or overhauled in 10,000 years, and which ought long ago to have been destroyed or turned into hail-barges, but with these we have no connection whatever.Steerage passengers not allowed abaft the main hatch.
Complimentary round-trip tickets have been tendered to General Butler, Mr.Shepherd, Mr.Richardson, and other eminent gentlemen, whose public services have entitled them to the rest and relaxation of a voyage of this kind.Parties desiring to make the round trip will have extra accommodation.The entire voyage will be completed, and the passengers landed in New York again, on the 14th of December, 1991.This is, at least, forty years quicker than any other comet can do it in.Nearly all the back-pay members contemplate making the round trip with us in case their constituents will allow them a holiday.Every harmless amusement will be allowed on board, but no pools permitted on the run of the comet --no gambling of any kind.All fixed stars will be respected by us, but such stars as seem, to need fixing we shall fix.If it makes trouble, we shall be sorry, but firm.
Mr.Coggia having leased his comet to us, she will no longer be called by his name, but by my partner's.N.B.--Passengers by paying double fare will be entitled to a share in all the new stars, suns, moons, comets, meteors, and magazines of thunder and lightning we may discover.Patent-medicine people will take notice that WE CARRY BULLETIN-BOARDSand a paint-brush along for use in the constellations, and are open to terms.Cremationists are reminded that we are going straight to--some hot places--and are open to terms.To other parties our enterprise is a pleasure excursion, but individually we mean business.We shall fly our comet for all it is worth.
FOR FURTHER PARTICULARS, or for freight or passage, apply on board, or to my partner, but not to me, since I do not take charge of the comet until she is under way.
It is necessary, at a time like this, that my mind should not be burdened with small business details.
MARK TWAIN.
