The present edition is of a work which has been for more than thirty years prominently before the public, and which may justly be said to have maintained a standard character.It is issued because of a demand for a BETTER EDITION than has ever been published.
In order to supply this acknowledged want, the publishers have enlarged and perfected this edition by adding some matter not heretofore published in book form.
More than one hundred thousand copies of the work have been printed.The plates had become so worn as to render it unreadable, yet the sale kept on.In preparing this new edition, many of the author's fragmentary pieces, not contained in the old edition, have been added.The earliest of the author's writings, published in periodicals in 1862, are included, together with many additional illustrations, which now, for the first time, make the work complete.
It is universally conceded that no country in the world has ever produced a genius like Artemus Ward.Writers of ACKNOWLEDGEDGENIUS are never very numerous.He attained a great and deserved popularity, which will be lasting.
It has been observed that the wit of one generation is rarely appreciated by the next, but this is not true of Artemus Ward.
There is a constant demand for his writings, for the reason that his jokes require no appendix for their elucidation.No one who speaks the English language can fail to appreciate his wonderful humor.It will always be funny.There is a fascination about it which can neither be questioned nor resisted.His particular niche in the temple of Fame will not be claimed by another.His intellect was sharp and electric.He saw the humor of anything at a glance, and his manner of relating these laughter-provoking absurdities is original and "fetching."PRELIMINARY NOTES BY JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN.
Piccadilly, W.Jan.30, 1865.
There is a story of two "smart" Yankees, one named Hosea and the other Hezekiah, who met in an oyster shop in Boston.Said Hosea, "As to opening oysters, why nothing's easier if you only know how." "And how's how?" asked Hezekiah."Scotch snuff," replied Hosea, very gravely--"Scotch snuff.Bring a little of it ever so near their noses, and they'll sneeze their lids off." "I know a man who knows a better plan," observed Hezekiah."He spreads the bivalves in a circle, seats himself in the centre, reads a chapter of Artemus Ward to them, and goes on until they get interested.One by one they gape with astonishment at A.Ward's whoppers, and as they gape my friend whips 'em out, peppers away, and swallows 'em."Excellent as all that Artemus Ward writes really is, and exuberantly overflowing with humour as are nearly all his articles, it is too bad to accuse him of telling "whoppers." On the contrary, the old Horatian question of "Who shall forbid me to speak truth in laughter?" seems ever present to his mind.His latest production is the admirable paper "Artemus Ward among the Fenians" which appears in Part 7.
If Artemus has on any occasion really told "whoppers," it has been in his announcements of being about to visit England.From time to time he has stated his intention of visiting this country, and from time to time has he disappointed his English friends.
He was coming to England after his trip to California, when, laden with gold, he could think of no better place to spend it in.
He was on his way to England when he and his companion, Mr.
Hingston, encountered the Pi-ute Indians, and narrowly escaped scalping.
He was leaving for England with "Betsy Jane" and the "snaiks"before the American war was ended.
He had unscrewed the head of each of his "wax figgers," and sent each on board in a carpet-bag, labelled "For England," just as Mr Lincoln was assassinated.
He was hastening to England when the news came a few weeks ago that he had been blown up in an oil well!
He has been on his way to England in every newspaper of the American Union for the last two years.
Here is the latest announcement:
"Artemus Ward, in a private letter, states that Doctor Kumming, the famous London seer and profit, having foretold that the end of the world will happen on his own birthday in January 1867, he, Artemus, will not visit England until the latter end of 1866, when the people there will be selling off, and dollars will be plentiful.Mr.Ward says that he shall leave England in the last steamer, in time to see the American eagle spread his wings, and with the stars and stripes in his beek and tallents, sore away to his knativ empyrehum.--" American Paper.
But even this is likely to be a "whopper," for a more reliable private letter from Artemus declares his fixed purpose to leave for England in the steamship City of Boston early in June; and the probabilities are that he will be stepping on English shores just about the time that these pages go to press.
Lest anything should happen to him, and England be for ever deprived of seeing him, the most recent production of his pen, together with two or three of his best things, are here embalmed for preservation, on the principle adopted by the affectionate widow of the bear-trainer of Perpignan."I have nothing left,"said the woman; "I am absolutely without a roof to shelter me and the poor animal." "Animal!" exclaimed the prefect; "you don't mean to say that you keep the bear that devoured your husband?""Alas!" she replied, "it is all that is left to me of the poor dear man!"If any other excuse be needed for thus presenting the British public with A.Ward's "last," in addition to the pertinency of the article and its real merit, that excuse may be found in the fact that it is thoroughly new to readers on this side of the Atlantic.
The general public will undoubtedly receive "Artemus Ward among the Fenians" with approving laughter.Should it fall into the hands of a philo-Fenian the effect may be different.To him it would probably have the wrong action of the Yankee bone-picking machine.
