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第16章 种植幸福(2)

那天晚上,出乎意料的是,他并没有入到我的梦中。在梦里,我飞过田野和森林,俯瞰着大地。突然间,我掉了下来……醒来后才发现原来自己被猎人打中了,但是令我坠落的不是他的子弹,而是他的灵魂。我后来才渐渐明白,原来迈克就是那个使我坠落的猎人,而我是那只渴望飞翔的小鸟。到了第二天晚上,我仍然做了类似的梦,但是猎人不见了,我一直在自由地飞翔,直到遇上另外一只小鸟和我比翼双飞。我开始意识到,总有那么一只鸟,那么一个人在前面等我,这个人可能是我的爱人,可能只是朋友,但一定是知我懂我的人,这令我感觉如释重负。我想起曾经觉得自己像花瓶一样裂开了,才意识到原来自己已经把自己修理好了。迈克只是我生命过程中的小小过客,他仅仅了解我的表面,他仅仅是我生命中的小小一部分。

我想知道你的故事I Want to Know your story

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what you ache for,and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,for your dreams,for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain,mine or your own,without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy,mine or your own,if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful,be realistic,or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day,and if you can source your life from god’s presence.I want to know if you can live with failure,yours and mine,and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,“Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,weary and bruised to the bone,and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are,how you came to be here.I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

你以什么为生我不感兴趣。我想知道的是你因什么而痛苦,想知道你是否敢于去梦想满足心灵的渴望。

你的年龄我不感兴趣。我想知道的是你是否甘当傻瓜去追求爱、追求梦想和经历生活的惊险刺激。

是什么磨圆了你的棱角我不感兴趣。我想知道的是你是否触碰过自己受伤的心,是否因为生活辜负过你而变得豁达,还是因为害怕遭受更多的痛苦而变得无助、紧闭心扉。

我想知道你是否能痛苦着我的痛苦而不是避开它,躲着它。

我想知道你是否能欢乐着我的欢乐,是否能狂舞一曲,让快乐溢满你的指尖和脚趾,而不是告诫我们:要小心翼翼、要现实、要牢记做人的局限。

你说的是真是假我不感兴趣。我想知道的是你是否为了忠实于自己而敢于令他人失望,是否敢于承担背叛的骂名而不愿违背良心,是否能做到诚实可靠从而值得信赖。

我想知道你是否能领略美,是否因为生命的存在而追溯生命的起源,我想知道你是否愿意接受你我的失败并仍然敢于站在湖边,对着银色的满月大声回答“是”。

你栖身何处、有多少金钱我不感兴趣。我想知道的是一夜伤心和绝望、一身疲惫和伤痕之后,你是否照样起床,履行应尽的义务,养育待哺的孩子。

你有何背景、何以成为现在的你我不感兴趣。我想知道的是你是否愿意与我一道,站在烈火中央而不退缩。

你在哪里受的教育,学的什么以及与谁为师我不感兴趣。我想知道的是一切消逝之后是什么在内心支撑着你,你是否能够独自面对自己,是否真正喜欢你在空虚的时刻结交的伙伴。

小偷Thief

He is waiting for the airline ticket counter when he first notices the young woman.She has glossy black hair pulled tightly into a knot at the back of her bead-the man imagines it loosed and cascading to the small of her back-and carries over she shoulder of her leather coat a heavy black purse.She wears black boots of soft leather.He struggles to see her face——she is ahead of him in line-but it is not until she has bought her ticket and turns to walk away that he realizes her beauty,which is pale and dark-eyed and full-mouthed,and which quickens his heart beat.She seems aware that he is staring at her and lowers her gaze abruptly.

The airline clerk interrupts.The man gives up looking at the woman——he thinks she may be about twenty-five—and buys a round-trip,coach class ticket to an eastern city.

His flight leaves in an hour.To kill time,the man steps into one of the airport cocktail bars and orders a scotch and water.While he sips it he watches the flow of travelers through the terminal-including a remarkable number,he thinks,of an unattached pretty women dressed in fashion magazine clothes——until he catches sight of the black-haired girl in the leather coat.She is standing near a Travelers Aid counter,deep in conversation with a second girl,a blond in a cloth coat trimmed with gray fur.He wants somehow to attract the brunette’s attention,to invite her to have a drink with him before her own flight leaves for wherever she is traveling,but even though he believes for a moment she is looking his way he cannot catch her eye from out of the shadows of the bar.In another instant the two women separate;neither of their direction is toward him.He orders a second Scotch and water.

When next he sees her,he is buying a magazine to read during the flight and becomes aware that someone is jostling him.At first he is startled that anyone would be so close as to touch him,but when he sees who it is he musters a smile.

“Busy place,”he says.

She looks up at him——is she blushing?——and an odd grimace crosses her mouth and vanishes.She moves away from him and joins the crowds in the terminal.

The man is at the counter with his magazine,but when he reaches into his back pocket for his wallet the pocket is empty.Where could I have lost it?he thinks.His mind begins enumerating the credit cards,the currency,the membership and identification cards;his stomach churns with something very like fear.The girl who was so near to me,he thinks and all at once he understands that she has picked his pocked.

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