Remember what I tell you.OSWALD Well,madam.GONERIL And let his knights have colder looks among you;What grows of it,no matter;advise your fellows so:
I would breed from hence occasions,and I shall,That I may speak:I'll write straight to my sister,To hold my very course.Prepare for dinner.
Exeunt
SCENE IV.The Duke of Albany's Palace
Enter KENT,disguised.
KENT If but as well I other accents borrow,That can my speech defuse,my good intent May carry through itself to that full issue For which I razed my likeness.Now,banish'd Kent,If thou canst serve where thou dost stand condemn'd,So may it come,thy master,whom thou lovest,Shall find thee full of labours.
Horns within.Enter KING LEAR,Knights,and Attendants KING LEAR Let me not stay a jot for dinner;go get it ready.
Exit an Attendant How now!what art thou?KENT A man,sir.KING LEAR What dost thou profess?what wouldst thou with us?KENT I do profess to be no less than I seem;to serve him truly that will put me in trust:to love him that is honest;to converse with him that is wise,and says little;to fear judgment;to fight when I cannot choose;and to eat no fish.KING LEAR What art thou?KENT A very honest-hearted fellow,and as poor as the king.KING LEAR If thou be as poor for a subject as he is for a king,thou art poor enough.What wouldst thou?KENT Service.KING LEAR Who wouldst thou serve?KENT You.KING LEAR Dost thou know me,fellow?KENT No,sir;but you have that in your countenance which I would fain call master.KING LEAR What's that?KENT Authority.KING LEAR What services canst thou do?KENT I can keep honest counsel,ride,run,mar a curious tale in telling it,and deliver a plain message bluntly:that which ordinary men are fit for,I am qualified in;and the best of me is diligence.KING LEAR How old art thou?KENT Not so young,sir,to love a woman for singing,nor so old to dote on her for any thing:I have years on my back forty eight.KING LEAR Follow me;thou shalt serve me:if I like thee no worse after dinner,I will not part from thee yet.
Dinner,ho,dinner!Where's my knave?my fool?
Go you,and call my fool hither.
Exit an Attendant Enter OSWALD
You,you,sirrah,where's my daughter?OSWALD So please you,--Exit KING LEAR What says the fellow there?Call the clotpoll back.
Exit a Knight Where's my fool,ho?I think the world's asleep.
Re-enter Knight How now!where's that mongrel?Knight He says,my lord,your daughter is not well.KING LEAR Why came not the slave back to me when I called him.Knight Sir,he answered me in the roundest manner,he would not.KING LEAR He would not!Knight My lord,I know not what the matter is;but,to my judgment,your highness is not entertained with that ceremonious affection as you were wont;there's a great abatement of kindness appears as well in the general dependants as in the duke himself also and your daughter.KING LEAR Ha!sayest thou so?Knight I beseech you,pardon me,my lord,if I be mistaken;for my duty cannot be silent when I think your highness wronged.KING LEAR Thou but rememberest me of mine own conception:
I have perceived a most faint neglect of late;which Ihave rather blamed as mine own jealous curiosity than as a very pretence and purpose of unkindness:
I will look further into't.But where's my fool?
I have not seen him this two days.Knight Since my young lady's going into France,sir,the fool hath much pined away.KING LEAR No more of that;I have noted it well.
Go you,and tell my daughter I would speak with her.
Exit an Attendant Go you,call hither my fool.
Exit an Attendant Re-enter OSWALD
O,you sir,you,come you hither,sir:who am I,sir?OSWALD My lady's father.KING LEAR 'My lady's father'!my lord's knave:your whoreson dog!you slave!you cur!OSWALD I am none of these,my lord;I beseech your pardon.KING LEAR Do you bandy looks with me,you rascal?
Striking him OSWALD I'll not be struck,my lord.KENT Nor tripped neither,you base football player.
Tripping up his heels KING LEAR I thank thee,fellow;thou servest me,and I'll love thee.KENT Come,sir,arise,away!I'll teach you differences:away,away!if you will measure your lubber's length again,tarry:but away!go to;have you wisdom?so.
Pushes OSWALD out KING LEAR Now,my friendly knave,I thank thee:there's earnest of thy service.
Giving KENT money Enter Fool Fool Let me hire him too:here's my coxcomb.
Offering KENT his cap KING LEAR How now,my pretty knave!how dost thou?Fool Sirrah,you were best take my coxcomb.KENT Why,fool?Fool Why,for taking one's part that's out of favour:nay,an thou canst not smile as the wind sits,thou'lt catch cold shortly:there,take my coxcomb:
why,this fellow has banished two on's daughters,and did the third a blessing against his will;if thou follow him,thou must needs wear my coxcomb.
How now,nuncle!Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!KING LEAR Why,my boy?Fool If I gave them all my living,I'ld keep my coxcombs myself.There's mine;beg another of thy daughters.KING LEAR Take heed,sirrah;the whip.Fool Truth's a dog must to kennel;he must be whipped out,when Lady the brach may stand by the fire and stink.KING LEAR A pestilent gall to me!Fool Sirrah,I'll teach thee a speech.KING LEAR Do.Fool Mark it,nuncle:
Have more than thou showest,Speak less than thou knowest,Lend less than thou owest,Ride more than thou goest,Learn more than thou trowest,Set less than thou throwest;Leave thy drink and thy whore,And keep in-a-door,And thou shalt have more Than two tens to a score.KENT This is nothing,fool.Fool Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer;you gave me nothing for't.Can you make no use of nothing,nuncle?KING LEAR Why,no,boy;nothing can be made out of nothing.Fool [To KENT]Prithee,tell him,so much the rent of his land comes to:he will not believe a fool.KING LEAR A bitter fool!Fool Dost thou know the difference,my boy,between a bitter fool and a sweet fool?KING LEAR No,lad;teach me.
