'Because I had once seen, in marching by, the belfry of his village!' I continued.'The circumstance is quaint enough.It seems to bind up into one the whole bundle of those human instincts that make life beautiful, and people and places dear - and from which it would seem I am cut off!'
I rested my chin on my knee and looked before me on the ground.I had been talking until then to hold her; but I was now not sorry she should go: an impression is a thing so delicate to produce and so easy to overthrow! Presently she seemed to make an effort.
'I will take this toy,' she said, laid a five-and-sixpenny piece in my hand, and was gone ere I could thank her.
I retired to a place apart near the ramparts and behind a gun.The beauty, the expression of her eyes, the tear that had trembled there, the compassion in her voice, and a kind of wild elegance that consecrated the freedom of her movements, all combined to enslave my imagination and inflame my heart.What had she said?
Nothing to signify; but her eyes had met mine, and the fire they had kindled burned inextinguishably in my veins.I loved her; and I did not fear to hope.Twice I had spoken with her; and in both interviews I had been well inspired, I had engaged her sympathies, I had found words that she must remember, that would ring in her ears at night upon her bed.What mattered if I were half shaved and my clothes a caricature? I was still a man, and I had drawn my image on her memory.I was still a man, and, as I trembled to realise, she was still a woman.Many waters cannot quench love;
and love, which is the law of the world, was on my side.I closed my eyes, and she sprang up on the background of the darkness, more beautiful than in life.'Ah!' thought I, 'and you too, my dear, you too must carry away with you a picture, that you are still to behold again and still to embellish.In the darkness of night, in the streets by day, still you are to have my voice and face, whispering, making love for me, encroaching on your shy heart.Shy as your heart is, IT is lodged there - I am lodged there; let the hours do their office - let time continue to draw me ever in more lively, ever in more insidious colours.' And then I had a vision of myself, and burst out laughing.
A likely thing, indeed, that a beggar-man, a private soldier, a prisoner in a yellow travesty, was to awake the interest of this fair girl! I would not despair; but I saw the game must be played fine and close.It must be my policy to hold myself before her, always in a pathetic or pleasing attitude; never to alarm or startle her; to keep my own secret locked in my bosom like a story of disgrace, and let hers (if she could be induced to have one)
grow at its own rate; to move just so fast, and not by a hair's-
breadth any faster, than the inclination of her heart.I was the man, and yet I was passive, tied by the foot in prison.I could not go to her; I must cast a spell upon her at each visit, so that she should return to me; and this was a matter of nice management.
I had done it the last time - it seemed impossible she should not come again after our interview; and for the next I had speedily ripened a fresh plan.A prisoner, if he has one great disability for a lover, has yet one considerable advantage: there is nothing to distract him, and he can spend all his hours ripening his love and preparing its manifestations.I had been then some days upon a piece of carving, - no less than the emblem of Scotland, the Lion Rampant.This I proceeded to finish with what skill I was possessed of; and when at last I could do no more to it (and, you may be sure, was already regretting I had done so much), added on the base the following dedication.-
A LA BELLE FLORALE PRISONNIER RECONNAISSANT
A.D.ST.Y.D.K.
