Thus lovely, thus adorn'd, possessing all Of bright or fair that can to woman fall, The height of vanity might well be thought Prerogative in her, and Nature's fault.
Yet gentle AMORET, in mind supreme As well as charms, rejects the vainer theme;And, half mistrustful of her beauty's store, She barbs with wit those darts too keen before:--Read in all knowledge that her sex should reach, Though GREVILLE, or the MUSE, should deign to teach, Fond to improve, nor tim'rous to discern How far it is a woman's grace to learn;In MILLAR'S dialect she would not prove Apollo's priestess, but Apollo's love, Graced by those signs which truth delights to own, The timid blush, and mild submitted tone:
Whate'er she says, though sense appear throughout, Displays the tender hue of female doubt;Deck'd with that charm, how lovely wit appears, How graceful SCIENCE, when that robe she wears!
Such too her talents, and her bent of mind, As speak a sprightly heart by thought refined:
A taste for mirth, by contemplation school'd, A turn for ridicule, by candour ruled, A scorn of folly, which she tries to hide;An awe of talent, which she owns with pride!
Peace, idle Muse! no more thy strain prolong, But yield a theme thy warmest praises wrong;Just to her merit, though thou canst not raise Thy feeble verse, behold th' acknowledged praise Has spread conviction through the envious train, And cast a fatal gloom o'er Scandal's reign!
And lo! each pallid hag, with blister'd tongue, Mutters assent to all thy zeal has sung--Owns all the colours just--the outline true;Thee my inspirer, and my MODEL--CREWE!
DRAMATIS PERSONAE<2>
SIR PETER TEAZLE Mr.King SIR OLIVER SURFACEMr.Yates YOUNG SURFACE Mr.Palmer CHARLES (his Brother) Mr.Smith CRABTREE Mr.Parsons SIR BENJAMIN BACKBITE Mr.Dodd ROWLEYMr.Aikin SPUNGEMOSES
SNAKE
CARELESS--and other companions to CHARLESLADY TEAZLE
MARIA
LADY SNEERWELL
MRS.CANDOUR
MISS VERJUICE
PROLOGUE
WRITTEN BY MR.GARRICK
A school for Scandal! tell me, I beseech you, Needs there a school this modish art to teach you?
No need of lessons now, the knowing think;We might as well be taught to eat and drink.
Caused by a dearth of scandal, should the vapours Distress our fair ones--let them read the papers;Their powerful mixtures such disorders hit;Crave what you will--there's quantum sufficit.
"Lord!" cries my Lady Wormwood (who loves tattle, And puts much salt and pepper in her prattle), Just risen at noon, all night at cards when threshing Strong tea and scandal--"Bless me, how refreshing!
Give me the papers, Lisp--how bold and free! [Sips.]
LAST NIGHT LORD L.[Sips] WAS CAUGHT WITH LADY D.
For aching heads what charming sal volatile! [Sips.]
IF MRS.B.WILL STILL CONTINUE FLIRTING, WE HOPE SHE'LL draw, OR WE'LL undraw THE CURTAIN.
Fine satire, poz--in public all abuse it, But, by ourselves [Sips], our praise we can't refuse it.
Now, Lisp, read you--there, at that dash and star:""Yes, ma'am--A CERTAIN LORD HAD BEST BEWARE, WHO LIVES NOT TWENTY MILES FROM GROSVENOR SQUARE;FOR, SHOULD HE LADY W.FIND WILLING, WORMWOOD IS BITTER"----"Oh! that's me! the villain!
Throw it behind the fire, and never more Let that vile paper come within my door."Thus at our friends we laugh, who feel the dart;To reach our feelings, we ourselves must smart.
Is our young bard so young, to think that he Can stop the full spring-tide of calumny?
Knows he the world so little, and its trade?
Alas! the devil's sooner raised than laid.
So strong, so swift, the monster there's no gagging:
Cut Scandal's head off, still the tongue is wagging.
Proud of your smiles once lavishly bestow'd, Again our young Don Quixote takes the road;To show his gratitude he draws his pen, And seeks his hydra, Scandal, in his den.
For your applause all perils he would through--He'll fight--that's write--a cavalliero true, Till every drop of blood--that's ink--is spilt for you.
