登陆注册
19002900000030

第30章 SOME PARTICULARS CONCERNING A LION(2)

While the lion was exhibiting in this way, his keeper was not idle, for he mingled among the crowd, and spread his praises most industriously. To one gentleman he whispered some very choice thing that the noble animal had said in the very act of coming up-stairs, which, of course, rendered the mental effort still more astonishing; to another he murmured a hasty account of a grand dinner that had taken place the day before, where twenty-seven gentlemen had got up all at once to demand an extra cheer for the lion; and to the ladies he made sundry promises of interceding to procure the majestic brute's sign-manual for their albums. Then, there were little private consultations in different corners, relative to the personal appearance and stature of the lion;whether he was shorter than they had expected to see him, or taller, or thinner, or fatter, or younger, or older; whether he was like his portrait, or unlike it; and whether the particular shade of his eyes was black, or blue, or hazel, or green, or yellow, or mixture. At all these consultations the keeper assisted; and, in short, the lion was the sole and single subject of discussion till they sat him down to whist, and then the people relapsed into their old topics of conversation - themselves and each other.

We must confess that we looked forward with no slight impatience to the announcement of supper; for if you wish to see a tame lion under particularly favourable circumstances, feeding-time is the period of all others to pitch upon. We were therefore very much delighted to observe a sensation among the guests, which we well knew how to interpret, and immediately afterwards to behold the lion escorting the lady of the house down-stairs. We offered our arm to an elderly female of our acquaintance, who - dear old soul!

- is the very best person that ever lived, to lead down to any meal; for, be the room ever so small, or the party ever so large, she is sure, by some intuitive perception of the eligible, to push and pull herself and conductor close to the best dishes on the table; - we say we offered our arm to this elderly female, and, descending the stairs shortly after the lion, were fortunate enough to obtain a seat nearly opposite him.

Of course the keeper was there already. He had planted himself at precisely that distance from his charge which afforded him a decent pretext for raising his voice, when he addressed him, to so loud a key, as could not fail to attract the attention of the whole company, and immediately began to apply himself seriously to the task of bringing the lion out, and putting him through the whole of his manoeuvres. Such flashes of wit as he elicited from the lion!

First of all, they began to make puns upon a salt-cellar, and then upon the breast of a fowl, and then upon the trifle; but the best jokes of all were decidedly on the lobster salad, upon which latter subject the lion came out most vigorously, and, in the opinion of the most competent authorities, quite outshone himself. This is a very excellent mode of shining in society, and is founded, we humbly conceive, upon the classic model of the dialogues between Mr. Punch and his friend the proprietor, wherein the latter takes all the up-hill work, and is content to pioneer to the jokes and repartees of Mr. P. himself, who never fails to gain great credit and excite much laughter thereby. Whatever it be founded on, however, we recommend it to all lions, present and to come; for in this instance it succeeded to admiration, and perfectly dazzled the whole body of hearers.

When the salt-cellar, and the fowl's breast, and the trifle, and the lobster salad were all exhausted, and could not afford standing-room for another solitary witticism, the keeper performed that very dangerous feat which is still done with some of the caravan lions, although in one instance it terminated fatally, of putting his head in the animal's mouth, and placing himself entirely at its mercy. Boswell frequently presents a melancholy instance of the lamentable results of this achievement, and other keepers and jackals have been terribly lacerated for their daring.

It is due to our lion to state, that he condescended to be trifled with, in the most gentle manner, and finally went home with the showman in a hack cab: perfectly peaceable, but slightly fuddled.

Being in a contemplative mood, we were led to make some reflections upon the character and conduct of this genus of lions as we walked homewards, and we were not long in arriving at the conclusion that our former impression in their favour was very much strengthened and confirmed by what we had recently seen. While the other lions receive company and compliments in a sullen, moody, not to say snarling manner, these appear flattered by the attentions that are paid them; while those conceal themselves to the utmost of their power from the vulgar gaze, these court the popular eye, and, unlike their brethren, whom nothing short of compulsion will move to exertion, are ever ready to display their acquirements to the wondering throng. We have known bears of undoubted ability who, when the expectations of a large audience have been wound up to the utmost pitch, have peremptorily refused to dance; well-taught monkeys, who have unaccountably objected to exhibit on the slack wire; and elephants of unquestioned genius, who have suddenly declined to turn the barrel-organ; but we never once knew or heard of a biped lion, literary or otherwise, - and we state it as a fact which is highly creditable to the whole species, - who, occasion offering, did not seize with avidity on any opportunity which was afforded him, of performing to his heart's content on the first violin.

同类推荐
  • In a German Pension

    In a German Pension

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 勅修百丈清规

    勅修百丈清规

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 明道编

    明道编

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 十三日备尝记

    十三日备尝记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • The Boss and the Machine

    The Boss and the Machine

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 我爱男闺蜜

    我爱男闺蜜

    将父亲气死的前男友消失已久,突然传来死亡的消息,去填坟的路上遇到男神总裁从此爱的一发不可收拾。婚礼前夕,新郎突然消失,无奈请帖已发,酒店已定,一切都已安排妥当只缺新郎一人。取消婚礼?不……挣扎过后,拨通多年未见的巨星男闺蜜电话:“张汕宇,明天我结婚,新郎暂无,你愿意娶我吗?”他是她的男闺蜜,她是他多年来隐藏在心底的秘密。岁月变迁,阴谋被戳穿,男闺蜜与男神总裁签署的黑暗协议浮出水面。一场华丽的爱情纠缠,从这一刻开始重新洗牌。
  • 总裁,你女人又闹了

    总裁,你女人又闹了

    夏浅白乖巧的想要做一个合格的妻子,一个合格的儿媳妇,只是偏偏有人不如她愿,丈夫厌恶她,婆婆讨厌她,甚至设计陷害她出轨。夏浅白被赶出顾家,从豪门少奶奶变成了落魄的女人。A市的所有人都在看她的笑话,唯独那个男人将她压在墙上,霸道的说:“夏浅白,跟我回家,我宠你。”“我可是有出轨的前科的,要了我,不怕我找男人给你带绿帽子?”她笑。男人温柔的抚上了她的脸,喃喃道:“哪个男人敢?我送他豪华监狱终生游。”南厉风爱夏浅白,爱到荼蘼花开,爱到人间中毒,就算将她断手断脚,也不允许她离开自己身边半步。
  • 巫峡

    巫峡

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 历史年鉴:1909

    历史年鉴:1909

    本系列包含了世界历程、科技、文学、宗教、哲学、历史、国运纪事等各方面的整理记录,作为系列年鉴。
  • 邪皇诱妻:毒妃万万岁

    邪皇诱妻:毒妃万万岁

    千万年前,她绝然替他挡剑,他亲眼看她死在他面前。他说,你生,吾生,你亡,吾亦亡。他说,是我辜负了你,你且照顾好自己,来生等我去找你。万年后,再相见时,她是高高在上的神女殿下,断情绝爱,他亦是尊贵无双的曜天帝君,冷酷无情。他势要逆天而行,弑神杀佛,重改天道,只为与她相守一次!
  • 爱卿诗集·涅槃集

    爱卿诗集·涅槃集

    诗集真实地记录了2012年9月至2013年10月诗人亲身经历的三件倒霉事,一是被香港骗子伊藤礼治(化名,下同,四集诗集中所有人名皆为化名)骗掉总计近10万元,二是赴中州某地遭遇二三十名歹徒非法拘押被迫说出随身信用卡密码进而被当场盗刷17万元,三是被宁波骗子郑国华一家人骗掉20余万元。此三件事件触发进而浇灌了诗人沉睡的诗歌天才,也构成了诗人后面几部诗集的内核。
  • 四个闺蜜之最珍贵的时光

    四个闺蜜之最珍贵的时光

    她,性格火爆,直率。她,嘴巴毒舌,腹黑。她,装乖装蒜,可爱。她,淑女活泼,天真。她们以直率,腹黑,可爱,天真玩转校园,也一同走向迷茫。可依然玩得很欢。常上扣扣:1516827016
  • 天才凰后惊天下

    天才凰后惊天下

    惨死重生,她对天起誓:这一次,她不会再瞎了眼,错爱他人。对那害她之人,她直接踩扁,对那爱她之人,她誓死宠着护着,绝不让他再受半丝委屈!强强联手,他执她之手宣告天下:“我的爱,就是你嚣张跋扈的最大资本!”
  • 惊奇物语

    惊奇物语

    南派三叔领衔开启奇妙世界,劲爆展现南派小说精华!超级反转、极具想象,带给你最不可思议的阅读体验.国内类型文学五年来创作成就最深入的总结与展示!知名作家雷米、老家阁楼、轩辕小胖、王雨辰、宝树……鼎力加盟,合力构建南派惊奇世界!一个畅销书作家经历着一件诡异到无法置信的事情,他总是做着一个看似重复实际却一直在推进的梦,最后的最后,他站在了一扇幽深恐怖的门前,内心的窒息感达到了顶点——结局会是怎样?一个死在七岁那年,灵魂滞留在河流之中的少年,会相信每个人的一生都是注定的吗?身为一个没有供养的鬼魂,他和另一位少女有着什么样的故事?魔石真能使人复活吗?亦真亦幻中,狐仙和神仙摩迦到底谁降伏了谁?从来没有猫的村子里,为什么有那么多猫叫?
  • 女配鲜衣怒马

    女配鲜衣怒马

    有一种悲伤叫做“被”炮灰,有一种角色叫做“路过的女配”。她却倾其一生也要谱写一个只属于自己的故事。——————————步绾说,“你心属谁是你自个儿的事儿我管不着,我想亲近谁也是我的自由你更无处去说理。”步绾又说,“你别个小毛小病的我尚可忍着,唯独就是不喜我这点须得改改。”步绾还说,“我拗了小半辈子没服过谁,却是彻底栽在你手上了。”待他终是回了句,“你说,我听着。”步绾性子哏,认定的不撞南墙不回头,真正头破血流之后,你想听?我不说了。