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第17章 抓住生命里的那颗星 (6)

这是因为居住在北方的人们更可能受季节影响造成情绪紊乱,临床上表现为一种抑郁症,是由冬日里白天较短、日照较晚而带来的病症。

哥伦比亚大学医疗研究中心光照治疗和生物节律中心的主任,指出:“在美国,SAD(季节性情绪紊乱)在北部各州发生的比例是最南部各州的5倍。”

但是SAD只是冰山一角,特曼解释说。“稍逊严重的‘冬季消沉’比冬季抑郁发生的频率至少多3倍。然而更多的人经历了一次或多次的冬季抑郁症状——譬如吃得过多或睡得过多——尽管他们的情绪处于控制之中。”

无论受伤害的程度有多深,到了春季,各种症状就逐渐消失了。“当然对于北部的人们来说,5—10月的6个月里是不缺少快乐的。”特曼说道。

幸福的婚姻

结婚是快乐生活的关键之一吗?佩尤研究中心2006年的一份报告暗示了此点——43%的已婚人士表示他们“非常幸福”,而在未婚人士中这一比率仅为24%。

十分有趣的是,萦绕在已婚夫妇身上的幸福光环并非是拥有孩子带来的结果——有孩子的夫妇可能与没有孩子的夫妇一样幸福。

更确切地说,似乎是婚姻本身刺激了男性和女性生活幸福安康的感觉。

“最近的研究暗示,人们在结婚后变得不再忧郁,孤独感也逐渐减少,”芝加哥大学的社会学教授、《结婚问题》的作者琳达·怀特如是说。

毕竟,当你拥有一位每天晚上都回家的甜蜜爱人时,很难会感到孤独的。

根据怀特的研究,男性从一生的伴侣中受益的程度要远胜于女性。“女性会向所有的人倾诉,”怀特说,“但是大多数男性喜欢向妻子倾诉,把妻子当做主要的知己。”

另外,女性——典型的社交关系设计者——会保证男性与家庭和朋友之间密切相联,而这两者是快乐的另一源泉。

那么主妇们名声赫赫的唠叨意味着什么呢?总结一句是付出总有回报。已婚男士比起单身贵族喝酒、抽烟都减少了,吃得更好了,睡眠更充分了,做冒险的事也少了。最终的结果是:已婚男士更加健康,而健康与快乐息息相关,于是他们更加快乐了。

There Is a Spell in Autumn Early初秋有一段奇异的时节

There is a spell in autumn early,

One all too brief, of an enchantment rare:

The nights are radiant and pearly,

The days, pellucid, crystal-clear…

Where played the sickle and fell the corn, a mellow,

A warm and breathless stillness reigns supreme;

Spanning the brown and idle furrow,

A dainty thread of cobweb gleams.

The birds have flown, we hear no more their clamour,

But winter’s angry winds not soon will start to blow.

Upon the empty fields there pours the azure glow

Of skies that have not lost the warmth of summer…

初秋有一段奇异的时节,

它虽然短暂,却非常明丽——

整个白天好似水晶的凝结,

而夜晚的天空是透明的……

在矫健的镰刀游过的地方,

谷穗落了,现在是空旷无垠——

只有在悠闲的田垄的残埂上

还有蛛网的游丝耀人眼睛。

空气沉静了,不再听见鸟歌唱,

但离冬天的风暴还很遥远——

在休憩的土地上,流动着

一片温暖而纯净的蔚蓝……

A Boy and Morning Dew男孩和露珠

One morning a small boy squatted motionless on the grass in the garden for a long time.

His mother felt so odd that she walked close to see what had happened. The boy, in earnest, squatted in front of a blade of grass, on which a round dew in the sun gave a colorful light, exceedingly beautiful. The small boy extended his hands under the grass silently as he appreciated the dew.

Seeing his mother walking over to him, the boy said with a slight sadness, “Mother, the dew’s dying.”

The mother said to her son with a smile, “Even if you put your hands under the grass, you cannot stop the dew disappear from this world.”

The boy said, “Mother, I’m only thinking not to throw it in pain when it falls.”

一天早上,一个小男孩蹲在花园的草地上,久久不动。

母亲觉得蹊跷,便凑上前看个究竟。只见男孩非常认真地蹲在一茎草叶面前。草叶上,一颗圆圆的露珠,在太阳的照射下,正幻出七彩的光芒,格外美丽。小男孩一边欣赏着这滴露珠,一边把双手摊开,静候在草叶下。

看到妈妈走过来,男孩略带忧伤的说:“妈妈,露珠快要死了。”

母亲微笑着对儿子说:“你就是把双手放在草叶下面,还是阻止不了露珠在这个世界上消失的命运啊。”

男孩说:“妈妈,我只是想,它落下来时,别摔疼了它。”

Return to Paradise 重返爱的天堂

Lisa stood facing the Caribbean Sea, feeling the faint breeze against her face; her eyes were shut and she felt the white sand warm between her bare toes. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief she felt as she remembered the last time she had been here.

She had married James right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white shift dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame her long dark curls, Lisa had been happier than she had ever thought possible. James was even less formal, yet utterly irresistible in creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair was slightly ruffled and his eyes were full of adoration as he looked at his bride to be. The justice of the peace had read their vows as they held hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love and staying in a five star resort on the Caribbean island of the Dominican Republic. They had seen the years blissfully stretching ahead of them, together forever. They planned their children, two she said; he said four so they compromised on three (two girls and a boy of course); where they would live, the travelling they would do together it was all certain, or so they had thought then.

But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years,a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and they had returned, though this time not for the beachside marriages the island was famous for, but for one of its equally popular quickie divorces. ?

Lisa let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret. What could she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams? The old one was beyond repair. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she felt now?

The man stood watching under the palm tree. He couldn’t take his eyes off the dark-haired woman he saw standing at the water’s edge, apparently gazing out to sea as though she was waiting for something or someone. She was beautiful, with her slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, her crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the colour of the sea itself. It wasn’t her looks that attracted him though; he came across many beautiful women through his work as a freelance photographer. It was her loneliness and intensity that lured him. Even at some distance he was aware that she was different from any other woman he could ever meet.

Lisa sensed the man approaching even before she turned around. She had been aware of him standing there staring at her and had felt strangely calm about being observed. She looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection she had only experienced once before. He walked slowly towards her and they held each other’s gaze. It felt like meeting a long lost friend not a stranger on a strange beach.

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